12.1.12

Entry 1467

He wrote in first person. I wrote in third person. He even tried to write in second person but still Operation Enduring Digitarti had failed to live up to expectations.

He went online to his favorite online bookseller and decided he would seek out books on promoting your own books. After hours of searching through listings and seeking book reviews he decided upon a book that promised results using gorillas to market his book. He didn't know where he might get any gorillas but figured the book would tell him how to get some.

He was disappointed when the book arrived and there was no mention of where he might find any gorillas but not to be deterred he set out to try some of the tricks mentioned in the gorilla book.

One such trick suggested he take one copy of his book and plant it among the books sold at his local airport gift shop. According to theory someone would buy the book and doing so would prompt the store to order an entire shipment of his books thinking they had just sold their last copy. What have I got to lose, he thought, it's only one book out of the entire garage full.

He was sure no one saw him slip the book onto the back shelf in his local airport gift shop. The woman behind the counter never looked his way and because all the customers were at the front of the store he easily slipped out undetected.

Just as he walked out the door to the parking lot he felt the full force of no less than five armed guards knocking him face first into the asphalt before handcuffing him and placing him under arrest.

The charge: Suspicion of having planted a bomb in the airport gift shop. It took the Department Of Homeland Security ten weeks to review his book in order to make sure he had made no threats in its content. Five weeks later he was released.

When he arrived home his car had been repossessed.