12.1.12

Entry 3349

"Here's what you do. You stand in front of the audience, hold your hands in the air and shout, 'Mission accomplished!' Believe me, it works every time."

"It does?"

"Sure it does," his chief adviser replied. "You're not questioning my judgment? Are you, Sir?"

"Oh no, I'm not questioning your judgment, I just don't understand how,,,"

"Sir, you don't have to understand, just do it, Sir."

It was a standing room only crowd that had come to see the United States Poet Laureate that evening. He'd made his way back stage thanks to a bribe and was now awaiting the moment when the poet laureate himself would walk onto the stage. Just as the MC made the announcement he burst onto the stage, held his hands in the air and shouted, "Mission accomplished!"

After a severe beating the two big security guards dragged him from the stage and just before he passed out he mumbled, "Wait, this isn't in the script. Is it?"